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I need opinions! X'D

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 7, 2010, 8:33 PM


I'm writing a flash fiction for my creative writing class, and I want some nice people to read it for me and give me their interpretations ;A;

It isn't too long, just one Microsoft word page ;w;

Basically, what we were supposed to practice was the use of an ordinary object (clothing, jewelry, something on the body) to give a deeper meaning to the story.

So look for symbolism~

This is Sara, the girl with the scarf in the story: kikiine.deviantart.com/art/Sar…
and Laura doesn't have a design yet. LOL;;;

I might consider making this into a short comic...

OH and it's slightly inspired by this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kgsK1…

"Are you better now?" Laura asked her best friend. A pair of brown eyes stared down sternly into a puddle of clear blue ones.
"No problem," she answered, muffling through the scarf Laura had given her so many years ago. She dropped her blue eyes from the questioning brown stare, and touched the scarf uncomfortably. She didn't like wearing this scarf that quieted her voice, but she felt she had to.
"Good, cause nobody wants to hear your pathetic problems anyways. I'll see you tomorrow then, Sara," she said, giving her friend a hug. "And cheer up, okay?" Then turned and strode away.
"Mh," she muffled through her scarf again. Watching Laura as she faded into the distance, Sara clung tight to a little silver bell hanging from the scarf by a single thread. She knew it needed to be re-attached, but she didn't have the confidence to do it properly, nor the nerve to burden someone else to help her. Laura had always told her to keep her problems to herself, after all.
Day after day Sara would go about muffling lies through her blue and white striped scarf, and fingering the bell. As each day came and went, Sara could feel the thread losing its grip on the small object. As each fiber unwound, and each thread weakened, Sara's mind would stray to despair, and her heart slipped further and further into sorrow.
What was she good for? As much as she loved the beautiful, shining bell, she wasn't even capable of mending it. Holding the bell was both a blessing and a burden, and so she clung to it relentlessly with silent desperation. It was all she had, and it was the only thing she couldn't bear to lose.
The next day, Laura strode confidently up Sara's driveway to visit, as she always did. A knock at the stiff door. No answer.
"Sara?" she called, banging harder this time. "I know you're home! Look, I've brought you some cookies! My mom just made them! ...Sara?" she waited another moment. "Well, I'm coming in then. I sure hope you're decent, woman!"
Laura pushed open the door that had always been kept unlocked for her, and stepped into the little hallway that led straight to the kitchen. A plate of cookies dropped, shattered on the floor, and a pair of brown eyes stared wide with disbelief and horror.
In the kitchen, attached to the light fixture, there hung a blue and white striped scarf that had forever muffled the soft voice of a puddle of blue eyes. Her face pale and lifeless, her eyes dead and mournful, and a silver bell hopeless and un-mended on the ground just below.

  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Rolling Girl
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:iconvsis:
VSIS Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013
Scarf - Bottling up.

Bell - Sara's drive to live.

Threads - Sara's mental health.

Did I get the symbols right?
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:iconvsis:
VSIS Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013
Did I?
Reply
:iconvsis:
VSIS Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2013
Scarf = the self-surpression of her inner conflicts. Early on in Sara's life, one can assume that she was initially outgoing at the beginning. However, Laura influenced her to bottle up herself (unintentionally), causing Sara to face her inner demons, alone. Initially, as a scarf keeps one warm, the bottling up kept Sara floating, or at least that was what I assumed. Anyhow, like scarves tend to do, the bottling up was muffling her cries for help, choking her silently. Although she tried to cry out for help, the scarf, aka the habit of bottling up, quieted her requests, and finally crushed her.

The bell = Sara's hope. Hope is a critical factor for most humans to survive, especially for those wishing to get to a better state of mind/body. Here, Sara's hope could be her hope for living day-to-day, hope for becoming useful for once in her useless life. However, as soon as that wipes out, all motivation for life is gone.

The bell's threads = Obviously the timer she set for herself. Sara's vitality is measured by the strength of the threads, which inevitably dwindles over time. However, she is unable to replenish nor fortify this drive to live, as she was taught specifically NOT to ask for help. Sara, like most people in this world, cannot live without the support of others. So, when she is cut off from any chance to heal her mind, the inevitable happens.

Laura, on the other hand, does NOT possess these handicaps. Her very nature allows her to live confidently, independently, and outgoingly. As much as Sara doesn't speak her mind, Laura is a chatterbox. However, it may be because of the lack of a third party that Laura begins to dominate over Sara's life, to which the point where she unintentionally teaches her best friend, Sara, to kill off her hopes and dreams. Because these several factors, Sara killed herself.

That is my interpretation of your short story, which I enjoyed dissecting.
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:iconnesie1525:
nesie1525 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Student General Artist
NOEEESSS WHY WHY WHY *..this is like a horror story* Why would she died when the bell unconnected(sorry don't know any other word)?!
deviantART muro drawing Comment Drawing
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:iconselfproclaimedcobalt:
SelfProclaimedCobalt Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Oh, wow.. This is beautiful ;A;
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011  Student Digital Artist
OOF! ;O;/ thank you!
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:iconselfproclaimedcobalt:
SelfProclaimedCobalt Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011  Student Digital Artist
No problem! I'm very serious, I loved this
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:iconbriannakitty:
Briannakitty Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I wish I could fav this...its amazing!
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2011  Student Digital Artist
AWWW thanks so much! ;A;
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:iconbriannakitty:
Briannakitty Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
never a problem.
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:iconshinju-the-pearl:
ShInJu-ThE-pEaRl Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011   Traditional Artist
wow this is really amazing great job
i really wish i could favorite it ^^
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011  Student Digital Artist
;A; AWWW thank you! ;u;
Reply
:iconshinju-the-pearl:
ShInJu-ThE-pEaRl Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2011   Traditional Artist
your welcome :)
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:iconnekokisu:
nekokisu Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
WHY DIDN'T YOU MAKE THIS AS A DEVIATION?!?!?!!?!? Now I can't even fav it like this *sulk * >3>
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2011  Student Digital Artist
AWWWWW LOL ;;u;; i'm just not used to having literature in my gallery, so eue;;;
but i'm glad you like it! ;3;
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:iconclefdesoll:
ClefdeSoll Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2011  Professional General Artist
BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ;______________________________;

i love how when the bell falls, she hangs herself (okay that sounds really bad)

i wish this had been longer though ;u;
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2011  Student Digital Artist
YESSSSSSSSSSSS 8U it's a sad story indeed HMHM. Yeah, knowing myself i could have, and would have, LOL made it a fullblown story, but my teachers urged me to make it 1-2 pages MAX LOL X'D;;;;
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:iconclefdesoll:
ClefdeSoll Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011  Professional General Artist
awww man that stinks D;

you should rewrite it longer <3
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:icontalkativehands:
TalkativeHands Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
how did it go?
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Well i never read it to the class. LOL but my teacher loved it :'D
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:icontalkativehands:
TalkativeHands Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
great
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:iconsuperfoxlover:
superfoxlover Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010
awwwwwwwwwwwww!! ;A; this story made me start crying! it is so good! i love the way you used your words! they really make the story seem like its real! i can see that images of this story in my head cuz your details were so awesome!!!!! okay well imma stop sounding liek a teacher nouw! KIKII THIS STORY ISH AWESOMESAUCE!!!! i luv it<333
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2010  Student Digital Artist
;0; AWWWW Well at least i know i made it moving! ;v; LOL;;;; Thank you so much!!! >U<
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:iconsuperfoxlover:
superfoxlover Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2010
OH YESH! very moving;A; LOL;;;; awww no problem!!!!!!!! <33
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:iconkeitiblackwhitewolf:
KeitiBlackWhiteWolf Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
god, i love the way you write.
speaking of which, you need to send me your story again, cause it was saved on my other computer which everything had to be errased off of..
but yes; this is extremely well written. i love the detail you put into the meaning of the scarf. obviously, the bell is the most cherishable thing that Sara has. i can just imagine each and every little stitch on that scarf while you explain Sara just fiddling with the bell.
but; some things did kind of confuse me. why was laura so mean to sara when she said "no one wants to hear your pathetic problems anyways"?
andd, i might have this wrong, but this is the way i took it. maybe you were going with a metaphor, but im too serious for that kind of stuff. xD
so, basically, every time Sara would lie (saying shes okay when shes not), she'd fiddle with her bell, which, because she was fiddling with it so much, became very worn out?
and so..in the end she killed herself. im not sure if she was actually, you know, killing herself over the bell, or over what the bell was interpreting. probly the latter of that? xD
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2010  Student Digital Artist
awwww thankies! ;A; I try! LOL;;;; Though i know I've got a LONG way to go with writing x'DDDD LOL
OH ummmm Enzan's? O: I've got a lot more of his too, i think x'DDDD LOL! I'll sent it do you later! c': Remind me :'D
YES the scarf and the bell! ;v; so that the focus of the story isn't CENTERED around them, but it's crutial to the story x'D
hmmmmm and that could be! It's open to a lot of different interpretations that people have been telling me and made convinced me of, because they fit so well and i didn't even know it! :'D
OH the bell symbolizes Sara's dreams! She felt she couldn't live up to whatever it was she was aspiring to, but she also felt she couldn't reach out and ask for help. So the day she hung herself was the day she'd lost all hope of fulfilling her dreams, and she just felt that life wasn't worth living anymore >0<

MY intention was to have Sara aspire to be a seamstress. She didn't feel like she was good enough to FIX the bell back onto the scarf, but she couldn't ask for help to do so. Make that correlation there :'D
but i've gotten a lot of cool responses! X'D Like, apparently bells represent friendship! I had NO IDEA. but that fits too! LOL the day the bell snapped was the day she felt she'd lost all hope of restoring her friendship with Laura! 8D such cool things i say! Such cool things! CB <333
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:iconrhodarein:
Rhodarein Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hm, I like it! ^^ Alot! The connection and the symbolism of the Bell is excellent! And I really like your use of metaphors x3 You had them in the perfect places!

... Flash Fiction?
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2010  Student Digital Artist
awwwwww THANKS! hohoho! ;v; YESSSS because i love symbolism. XD and where did i use metaphors??? LOL (i'm really bad at picking out metaphors. Did i seriously use them??? LOL XDDDD)

YUS flash fiction! Something like SUPER short x'DDDD but yet it still has a lot of meaning to it!
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:iconrulerofyourfantasy:
Rulerofyourfantasy Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010
IDUNNO

WHETHER

TO LOVE THIS OR BAWWWWWWWW

...
I SHALL DO BOTH.
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
AWWEH. LOL <33333
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:iconrulerofyourfantasy:
Rulerofyourfantasy Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010
BAWLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE
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:iconkitsunehime-san:
Kitsunehime-san Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010
I like it :D
The symbolism is really good...but it would have been really good if u had subtly hinted at the bell
Does that make sense?(lol i've been reading Charles Dickens 'Tale of Two Cities XD)
Overall it's great!
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Yessssssssssssssss D: Peachy said that too! She said the correlation with theeeee string and the bell and all that was too obvious D":
So maybe i gotta make it a little more hidden. idk U_U; how do i do this? X"DDD PFFFFF
AND CHARLES DICKENS IS SO... BLEI. LOL;;;;
thank you! ;v;
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:iconkitsunehime-san:
Kitsunehime-san Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010
Ummm i think if u give detail without actually saying that it was hanging....give more desciption like 'only one thread left' or something like that...(hopefully that helped)
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:iconkitedge:
Kitedge Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I've saw everybody complaining about the bell. BUT, what does a bell mean? When a bell rings, it chases away the bad things (such a ghost and etc, this what I believe, and that's why I wear like.... 2-3 things that are and seems like bell on me all the time XD *rings a lot when she walk, its funny*), and it say to call upon good things AND it mean an elevation or something this way. So its a GOOD symbolism.

So for me, the scarf seems like a good thing at first, the bell seems like something good too, but, it will fall. When something, given by somebody else, fall, it mean the relationship will broke, or something will not work at all. It always happen. And that she use it after to brake her life, it more now, it proof that her life was wrong, because of that girl or something.

And simply without much symbolism and blablabla: we see the scarf given by the girl seems bothering. The ring recalls the name of Laura that is bothersome (its a blessing because its her only friend, but not, because this only friend is killing her slowly), after that, the scarf seems bothering too, she don't like it, buuuut to make her friend happy, without thinking about herself, she wears it. But at the end, knowing she'll go nowhere with this, she take it, and kill herself. Taking something we hate to end it quick when its too much.

So much blabla, but I would love to read more of these x3 (YES I KNOW I'LL GO FETCH THE NOTE, BUT STILL ;A; *tried last time and teacher got her*), but I seriously love the way you write.

Oh and reading the sister part: don't. This suck a lot. A friend is more like something that will brake you faster then family (in a way). And yes, friend keep their door open, and yes Sarah could have been in appartement too, it would fits and all...


*could talk even more about this, but class starts and its random*


*hugs* I hope you feel better, at least...
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
X"D Well that's good that the bell is obviously a strong point of focus in the story! LOL
ANDDDDDDDDDDDD i intended for the bell to represent Sara's 'dreams', so that the reader could fill it in with whatever they choose. So it could really be anything! Frommmmm wanting to build up a stronger relationship to what i was thinking, something a little more solid, a dream to be a seamstress. Where the act of SEWING she didn't have the confidence to do on her own (to fix the bell) but she felt like a burden if she asked for help to do it o3o

BUT YES! :'D and i didn't know bells represented friendship! 0o0 that's really cool! So maybe it could be a mixture of both! YuY

OH and the scarffffffff~ o3o it was given to Sara by her friend. And the scarf that 'muffles her voice' is supposed to represent how Laura is the one who keeps Sara from talking about her problems.
So it's basically all Laura's fault. LOL even if she didn't intend to >3<9

D: yeah i was re-thinking the sister thing... while it would make a bit more SENSE, i think it would loose a bit of meaning behind their relationship... And i'd have to go into a bit of detail about the sisters and all that, which isn't the main focus of the story, D"B so it'd just be unnecessary clutter i think~

AW and thanks! ;A; idk how often i'll be able to write things like this though x'DDDD LOL
my spawn-of-the-moment idea today was rusted my little pony earings that represented someone's childhood or something... PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF XDDDDDD

AND YUSSSSSSSSSSS i am feeling better! ;v; <3333
YOU FEEL BETTER TOO! ;A; <33333333
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:iconkitedge:
Kitedge Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I'M TRYING TO BE BETTER! IN FACT, I REALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE TEACH SAID! YAY! *is in class to learn stuff she missed in her exam* It was... All that I didn't know = =; *have a sheet full of notes*

But yeah x3 I see the point of the little bell, I thought so, and exactly the same for the sewing! I saw it like the relationship that would brake, or she doesn't want to say what she think, and so go on.

But to be sisters, it still doesn't fit me, its not the same feeling, meaning, feeling... XD friends and family aren't the same at all, so... It wouldn't do the same for me... So it depends. Friends do a lot compared to family (you know, sisters are fun, and moslty annoying sometimes, friends are something needed, people to talk to, to get cheered, etc, so loosing one is always painful).

If you randomly want to write random long or short stuff, write them to me! I had, before I lose all my data and my USB key, a document word full of little story, or random writing that had no sense or anything, and it was really fun to read! It made me think each time, even if it was random, no sense, too long or too short x3

CHILDHOOD POWER! Always there to remember its bad and good side XD
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:iconsunnylighter:
sunnylighter Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Student General Artist
*start tearing up* I hate sad stories, but it's well written
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
AWWEH <3333 *hugs* I write surprisingly dark things for some reason x'D idk why.
but thank you! C:
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:iconflamebunny700:
FlameBunny700 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Very lovely, yet depressining story; I've always had a thing for these kind of stories. So mysterious and makes you have to think more deep.

I think I have a different thought of the bell being compared to something though. :ohnoes:
For some reason, I see the loosening bell as the girl losing friendship/s with one/more of her friends but she really wants to strengthen the friendship, (since friends seem to be very special to her) but can't seem to have the courage and confidence to do so. But I'm not too confident about my thoughts, so I'm not sure if that made sense or close to right. ^^; Is there a right or wrong answer anyway? O-O

Overall, I think it was a nice story :D A+++++++++++++++ D8<
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
D: it is. XDDDDD PFFFFFFFFFF and i think it's really ironic how i'm so happy rainbow all the time and i write things like this. LOL WHAT DOES IT MEAN???? LOL

O3O HM. That's actually a really cool interpretation! I planned for the bell to represent the girls 'dreams' that she never thought she could achieve, but the friendship correlation is nifty! 8D So i suppose it could do that too! C:

I left the description to what the bell was supposed to symbolize EXACTLY so people could read into it as they wanted. X"D what dreams do YOU think she kept with that bell of hope? sort of thing~ Friendship could be an answer! :'D
Really cool!
I feel like i keep saying cool! LOL

YUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS thankiesssssssssss ;v;
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:iconpeachyvalentine:
peachyvalentine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I think you made the connection between the bell and her ability to deal with life to obvious. People will get it if you just say "the bell was only hung by one string" and "the bell was on the ground" at the end. Also, I think it would work better if Laura and Sara were sisters, where Laura was obligated to kind of check in on Sara and make sure she was still alive for their parents, but not obligated enough to be there for her. If theyre friends, then shes not obligated and has no reason to have stuck around this long if she was so tired of Sara's problems. And if she stuck around cuz she cared about Sara, Sara probably wouldnt have killed herself. Wouldnt that make sense, too, that a sister would have a spare key? And thatd be cool if when she walked in, she was just in time to see the bell snap and it rolled and hit her foot...

I dunno, you dont have to listen to any of that. Its a reflex of editing Gabbys stories XD

But I liked it. Its kind of the opposite of rolling girl, though, isnt it?
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Hmmmm the connection with the bell too obvious? 0o0 when i first showed it to my family, it wasn't nearly obvious ENOUGH cause no one could make the connection at all OTL
HM... too obvious... XD how the devil would i fix that without loosing the symbolism? LOL
OH AND THAT IS SO BRILLIANT WITH THE SISTERS THING D8 I might try to incorporate that tomorrow in class! But not today! Because 12:30am = sleep time. LOLYES

Really cool ideas and suggestions! 8D Things I never would have thought of! Thank you so much! >U< <333

andddddddd yes it is opposite i suppose X"DDD but that's the inspiration, so there we go 8D
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:iconpeachyvalentine:
peachyvalentine Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
well, the symbolism will always be there, think about it. When you read a book it English class, do you really notice the symbolism straight away? Sometimes it has to be pointed out, but maybe they werent really thinking about finding a symbol? Lol, I dunno.

Lol, is that what time it is over there XD

owo
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
hmmm idk. I'll need some help with this OTL PFFFF as much as i love to write, i hate to read, and so when i read things that make you dig deep to uncover some meaning, i get really frustrated X"D;;;
so when i WRITE i may tend to OVER explain things, because that's how i'd like to read them... if that makes sense? owo;

OH and i've been thinking about the sister thing! D: I think if you looked at it in the course of it being a story, sisters would make a lot more sense, but this just being a little flash fiction, i think the fact that the two girls are best friends make the whole relationship a bit more shocking.../clear? idk. something like that xD

OH YEAH and before, I'd thought about the bell rolling to Laura's foot as she walked in the door, but i thought that was a little over-dramatic =w=;
idk, maybe over-dramatic is good? @w@

OH OH OH and it isn't necessarily that Laura is tired of Sara's problems as much as it is that Laura just BELIEVES that no one in general should share their sufferings and burden others o3o
which ends up very negatively affecting Sara, cause she obviously has some issues she wants to talk about to someone 8U.
so it isn't like Laura doesn't CARE for Sara, it's that she just has someeeee skew-ball views x'D
my teacher today asked me about that, and told me i needed to make that more clear >3<9

sorryi'mwritingsomuch;;; LOL

you should help me with my more serious stories (~>3>)~ ...*SHOT* X"DDDDD
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:iconpeachyvalentine:
peachyvalentine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I understand

I know you want it to be shocking, but so much teen writing is about unreasonable suicides and emoness and cutting, and you dont want it to blend in witht those. It just seems unlikely that Laura wouldve cared enough to ask Sara if she was better now, THEN say good cuz nobody cares, THEN bring her cookies. Its sending mixed signals, does Laura care or not? If you want them to be friends, maybe theyre neighbors and have been friends out of convenience for a long time, like Laura has other friends shed prefer to hang out with, but Sara is close so she ends up spending time with her alot, and Sara doesnt really have any other friends, or something.

Well, Itd be too dramatic if you kept all the description of the bell, but if you made that symbolism less obvious, I dont think it would be.

I see...but the way you made Laura say it seemed really mean D: "No one wants to hear about your pathetic problems anyway". If it was just her belief that people should be able to stand alone and be independant, would she say it like that? She still doesnt seem to be a very good friend, because of that...Yeah, I agree with your teacher :3

Its ok, i like editing =w= and its nice to think about soemthing other than finals...DX

Id love to (: if you ever need me to
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2010  Student Digital Artist
You know... i never in my life would have even considered that~ But i see that now that you point it out! XDDDD
i swear, i really should start reading more even if i have to suffer to do so xDDDD
OOH and i think you're rightttttttt D8 that line makes it really confusing XD;; i wrote it that way because Laura is supposed to be a rather harsh person, but yet she still cares... but i think it'd be best to change that line, yus o3o

yesssssssss ima go back and see if i can't... 'de-fluff' the description a bit, and see it if helps =w=9
OH but another thing i was thinking with the rolling to her foot thing was would it really go that far? D: There's maybeeeee like a 10 foot distance or something at the least between where Laura stands and where Sara is o3o; idk! But i'd better hurry up cause it's due tomorrow XDDD PFFFF

DB EEW finals~ My brother tells me they are SO awful! 8C
YOU CAN DO IT THOUGHHHHHHHHHHH~!!! i have faith in yewwwwwwww~!!!! >0<
OH and i wouldn't want to bother you with something like this durring yourrrr study tiemz, nope! OTL;; but if you would really like to afterwords or somethinggggg i could really use some major help with my short story for class xD;;
i fear it has a suckish ending and plot holes out the ying-yang OTL
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:iconpeachyvalentine:
peachyvalentine Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
but the reader doesnt know theres ten feet, and you dont have to say it rolled, you could just say she heard it jingle and felt a tap on her foot or something

theyre over tomorrow at 7, so if im on after that, then sure (:

THEY SUCK DX ive never studied so much, ever O:
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:iconkikiine:
Kikiine Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010  Student Digital Artist
XD this is very true! D8 OOOOOH and that sounds soooo... mysteriousssssss (>TuT)> DOHOHOYES I'll try and see if i can't swing that in the ending there >W> even though i like the ending sentence as it is D: HM... xD idk we'll see. I need to post an updated version 8U LOL

OH and i ALMOST read it out loud to my class today for opinions, but i chickened out like a pansy xD;;; DARN OTL

0o0 7, huh? 10 for me then xD i assume it's pm. LOL Lord bless your heart if you had to be up early enough to take exams to be done by 7am DB

HMMMMSH~ 8I and i'd feel bad just sending it to you with me doin' nothing! We'd have to make it like... a service-art trade... type thing. LOL I'll draw you something in exchange for yourrrr editing services x'DDDD YES.

WAAAAAAAAH and i bet they do!!!! >^<; college has me so terrified!!! ^(QAQ)^ i'm such a procrastinator! BUT BUT BUT good luck to you!!!! YOU CAN DO ITTTTTTTTT!!!! ;0;
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(1 Reply)
:iconi-kandii:
i-kandii Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2010
dd--awwwww dude i just like teared up *is a wimp*
that's really sad :C
It's really good though. Creative, cute, but still serious and descriptive. Sadddddddd
</3
i can't tell if I like laura or not. at first i didn't cuz she told sara to keep her problems to herself, but then she brought cookies and i was like "well shes not that bad i guess?" idk
my brain is acting all weird right now. i can't type or think straight or anything ono
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